Carol J. Tadeusik, Ph.D.
  • Welcome
  • About You
    • Women and Relationships
  • About Me
  • About Therapy
    • Finding Your Voice
  • About Privacy
  • Blog
  • Getting Started
  • Contact Me

Dr. T's Blog

If you want to feel better, act as if you do

5/15/2017

0 Comments

 
Social psychologist Arthur Aron wondered if having long time married couples act more like newly dating couples would result in an increase in marital satisfaction. He had couples generate a list of exciting activities and a list of pleasant activities that they might do together. Then he assigned some couples to do something from the list of exciting activities and other couples to do something from the list of pleasant activities.

I’ll bet you can guess what he found. :-) The couples who added some new and exciting activities into their life, acting more like newly dating than like long time married couples, had significantly more happiness than the couples that engaged in more pleasant activities or the couples that served as baseline and did nothing different at all.

Acting excited and trying new things results in feeling excited and more energized about your relationship. Keeping things fresh leads to more relationship satisfaction.
Several studies looked at whether the words you say and the way you say them have any effect on your mood. One study by psychologist Emmett Velten asked some people to read cards with increasingly positive statements on them (“I do feel pretty good today”). Another group read cards with neutral statements unrelated to mood on them (“The Orient Express travels between Paris and Istanbul”). Using pre- and post-tests of mood, the group that read the increasingly positive statements had a happier mood afterwards while the neutral statement group showed no change in mood.

Other researchers have expanded this format to include telling jokes, laughing, reading stories about happy events, all with the same result. Acting as if you are happy results in people reporting being happier.

What’s the takeaway here? If you want to feel a certain way, act the way you want to feel. Don’t wait for the feelings. Change your behavior and the feelings will follow.
​
So, how do you want to feel today? :-)
0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Welcome
    ​​to My Blog!  

    My name is Carol J. Tadeusik.  I am a licensed psychologist in Durham, North Carolina.  I invite you to read my blog and get to know me and a bit about how I think.  And by the way, I love comments!
    ​Thanks :-)

    Picture

    Click here for Topics

    All
    Acceptance
    ACT
    Change
    Choice
    DBT
    Effective
    Gratitude
    How I Think
    Love
    Mindfulness
    Relationships
    Resilience
    Values

    Archives

    December 2019
    September 2019
    July 2019
    December 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    March 2018
    January 2018
    October 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    September 2016
    August 2016
    January 2016
    December 2014
    April 2013

Carol J. Tadeusik, Ph.D.
Conveniently located in the South Square area of Durham, North Carolina

Home

About You

About Me

About Therapy

My Blog 

Contact Me

Carol J. Tadeusik, Ph.D.  all rights reserved 
@copyright 2000-2019
  • Welcome
  • About You
    • Women and Relationships
  • About Me
  • About Therapy
    • Finding Your Voice
  • About Privacy
  • Blog
  • Getting Started
  • Contact Me